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Spotting and Avoiding Red Flags When Dating

Embarking on the journey of online dating brings its own set of challenges, especially when it comes to discerning genuine interest from potential red flags. Here we delve into the subtler signs that may surface once you're confident the person you're chatting with is real. Keep an eye out for these cautionary hints that could signal it's time to rethink your match. 👇

For a primer on catfishing

Before we address the in-person red flags, let's ensure you can swiftly identify a catfish. Our in-depth guide on how to spot a catfish is your go-to resource. In general, be wary if they're hesitant to talk on video, if their stories feel too theatrical, or if they’re asking for private contact or bank details right away. 🙅 A real connection won't shy away from authenticity or a live conversation. Once you're certain you're dealing with a genuine person, you should still keep your eyes open.

"All my exes are crazy"

Proceed with caution if your date frequently badmouths their exes, using phrases like "They were all crazy." ⚠ Common denominator alert: if every ex was the problem, it might be time for them to glance in the mirror. This rhetoric can hint at an inability to take responsibility for their role in past relationship issues, and that's a pattern that might repeat itself with you. 😬

They push your boundaries

Even after knowing someone is who they claim to be, pay attention to how they respect your boundaries. Online, this can manifest in persistent messages that cross the line or demands for attention at odd hours. Offline, it might be an insistence on fast-forwarding the relationship or not taking "no" for an answer in social situations. Personal space and comfort should always be respected – if they're not, you gotta walk away. 🚶🚩

Overly critical or controlling behavior

Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and support, not criticism and control. If your date is overly critical of your choices or tries to dictate who you should be, consider this a serious red flag. 🚨 This might manifest itself online – for example, in critiquing your social media posts or your dating profile. During in-person dates, they might start by making negative comments about your appearance or choices.

Always blaming others

A date who never takes responsibility for their actions and always blames others could be demonstrating a pattern of behavior that is likely to continue. 🤔 Whether it's recounting past relationship woes or everyday setbacks, listen for the inability to acknowledge personal faults. This trait can lead to a lack of accountability in a relationship, which is essential for resolving conflicts and growing together.

Excessive jealousy

A little bit of jealousy is natural, but excessive jealousy can be a sign of deeper issues. If your online interactions are met with possessiveness or if they become upset when you spend time with friends or family, take note. In person, this may look like unwarranted accusations or making you feel guilty for not spending all your time with them. Balance is key, and without it, a healthy relationship cannot flourish. 💔

Lack of empathy

Empathy is the bedrock of connection. If your date seems indifferent to your feelings or the experiences of others, both in their online communication and offline demeanor, it's a warning. Empathy can't be faked, and a lack of it often reveals a person's inability to form deep, considerate relationships. 🤷‍♂️

Disrespectful towards others

Watch how your date treats others in their life – this includes service staff during dates, coworkers they mention in stories, or even random individuals they interact with online. Disrespectful behavior towards others is a glaring red flag, indicating how they might treat you when the honeymoon phase is over. 👎

Inconsistent communication

Consistent communication fosters trust and stability. If your match is all over the map—sending a flurry of messages one day, then disappearing the next—this inconsistency could be a signal of a non-committal or inattentive partner. In-person, this may show up as being fully engaged one moment and aloof the next. For a relationship to succeed, communication must be reliable. 📞

Do these red flags resonate with your dating experiences? Which ones have you come across, and how did you handle them? Join the conversation and share your insights or questions below – we're all here to support each other! 👇