Happily solo for quite some time, but wondering if there is a special person to share life's ongoing adventure. I have a fairly modern outlook but still respect traditional values, honesty, loyalty and consideration uppermost. I am neither wealthy, successful nor talented, but I get on fine.Sorry about the photos, but it shows nature can also have a sense of humour. i'm actually from Leeds. I served in the West Yorkshire police and was last employed in the motor trade for 15 years. Due to ageism, decided to retire ealy on pension.I have my own house, car hair and teeth (Mostly) and am a long-standing member of English heritage.I especially enjoy travelling the UK, particularly the Scottish highlands and islands, several times a year. I have been fortunate to have visited hundreds of special places and seen incredible scenery as well.My son has 95% left home, so now may be a good time to say "time for a reset" who knows?
Seeking Female
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| Gender | Male |
| Age | 68 |
| Location | UK, England: Lancashire, Marton |
| 🌈 Sexuality | Straight |
| 🚻 Gender Expression | Masculine |
| 🌎 Ethnicity | White / Caucasian |
| 🎓 Education | Other |
| 💞 Relationship Status | Single |
| 🙏 Religion | Atheist / Not Religious |
| ⚒️ Job | Other |
| ⭐ Star Sign | Taurus |
| 🚬 Smoke | No |
| 🍷 Drink | Socially |
| 💊 Drugs | No |
| 🍽️ Diet | It’s complicated |
| 🐾 Pets | Yes |
| 👶 Children | Yes, not living with me |
| 🤸 Exercise | I go through phases |
| 🏠 Meet at | Anywhere |
| 📏 Height | 5ft 9in (175 cm) |
| ⌛ Body Type | A few extra pounds |
| 👁️ Eye colour | Blue |
| 👱 Hair Colour | Blonde |
| 🦵 Body hair | Bearded |
| 🎨 Tattoos | Never! |
| 💍 Piercings | Never! |
| 🖌️ Body Modifications | Never! |
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8:12 pm Monday, 13th August, 2012
What an "Ice-Breaker" can do I had been a full member on the site for about a week and decided it was time to send out an Ice-breaker message. I didn't just want to say "Hey ladies, I'm a nice person, look at me," so I penned a short history and titled it "Mature knight seeks lady for next chapter" I hoped it might be found amusing,a bit tongue-in-cheek. I waited whilst it was approved and wondered whether my sense of humour was peculiar to me or might others be amused as well? At 16.12hrs, I received a message from Support, saying the message had been approved and circulated. 3 hours later, over 300 ladies had looked at my profile (and still counting)and a large proportion had sent messages. I had asked that it be sent out only to a restricted age range (sorry ladies, the reasons are too involved to go into here) and that it be sent the minimum 75 miles radius. I don't know about you, but I know Grampian and Kent are a teensy bit more than 75 miles away. Anyway, no matter. I want th |
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2:41 pm Wednesday, 29th August, 2012
So how was your Knight then? I have read many ladies profiles, where they are waiting for their "knight in shining armour" to come along. In contrast, I have also read several diary entries, where such meetings have ended in total disappointment. So I'd like to offer my tongue-in-cheek advice to these "damsels". I appreciate I'm playing Devil's Advocate and in my generalisations, someone is bound to tell me of the exception to this cautionary tale, but so be it! The Chivalric idea of the knight or knight-errant ( errant means wandering or roving, keep that in mind ! ) was fostered by Medievil Romance writers, the largest group were written about King Arthur and his knights. These were by all accounts, a fine bunch of fellows. Yet it's interesting to note, that of all these fine knights, only one ( yes, ONE ) was considered pure enough in thought, deed and virtue ( depending on the writer ) to attain the Holy Grail ( allegory's abound !) and that was Galahad ( for a brilliant parody see |
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1:38 pm Thursday, 30th August, 2012
A Knight to remember on 13th August, I wrote a diary entry mentioning an "Ice-breaker" message that I'd sent out ( see entry for background info) a number of ladies have asked what this was, so to save my fingers typing it out individually, I'll put it out here, where anyone can see it. My apologies to those who have read it before !! This is for information only, but if it raises a smile, then I'm OK with that. Mature knight seeks lady for next Chapter. The armour may be dented and scratched but it's still serviceable. It's time once more to sally forth (.....or was Sally third? ) into the wide world in search of a damsel ( not in distress, please ) to share life's adventures. Have had to face a dragon or two, the odd sorceress and malcontents " manie and divers", but still here ready and smiling for the next challenge. The destrier ( in Mediterranean Blue ) is ready and willing to carry two. If the Alchemy ( many thanks to Dire Straits ) is right, we can set out together. It may n |
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1:48 pm Tuesday, 30th October, 2012
My goldfish has verrucas* I have received several requests to continue my diary entries, as the Mature Knight tale finished over a week ago with the 8th chapter. ( you can still read these Diary Entries on my profile page ). As he finished back at square one, he can still enjoy many adventures to come, but that is for a future time. This will be my last diary entry so I thought Id just give a few tongue-in-cheek observations in general, so here goes:- You can tell the romance is fading when: You can remember where and when you met, but cant recall why. You ask to be taken somewhere expensive and he drives you to the petrol station. He complains that you no longer tell him when you have an orgasm and you reply that you dont like to ring him while hes at work. A lady advertises in a local paper for a husband partner and you are one of 200 replies she receives, that says, You can have mine. He breaks wind for the first time in bed. You can tell that the romance is totally gone when he |
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2:16 pm Friday, 19th October, 2012
Mature Knight Chapter 8 (The Last) Reaching down, she lifted me the three feet to her face level and crushed me to her buckets. I felt every joint in my spine crack, then felt something run down my leg, which I earnestly hoped was sweat. She said, Guess my weight and you can have me. Quick as a flash I said, Four ounces. She said, Thats close enough and pulled me forward for a kiss. Her tongue entered my mouth like a conger eel searching for morsels and in seconds my airway was blocked. My brain, starved of oxygen, went on a solo flight of fancy. My life was being played out before a panel of four judges, one old and wise, one beautiful and air-headed, one camp and funny, the last, past their famous times, but clinging on by their fingertips. At its conclusion, the old one stood up with a scorecard indicating a 1 and said, Well that was a right load of cra. Air rushed back into me as Sally put me down. She began a swaying movement, slowly raising the hem of her dress. For my life |
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4:02 pm Wednesday, 17th October, 2012
Mature Knight Chapter 7 The moment had arrived at last! Time to visit Sally at her home. I had girded my loins ( with a steel cod-piece) and due to the seasonally unnatural weather ( It hadnt rained for at least 3 hours), I decided to venture out without my cloak. Chirlton-cum-Hardly was a dangerous place after dark. Cut-throats, thieves, robbers and outlaws were at large (and they were just the residents) and strangers were an easy target. Only the previous month, a group of Royal foresters carrying large axes and in their protective head-gear, had been slaughtered to a man in the mistaken belief that the Vikings had returned. To have crept along the shadows would have invited investigation, so I chose the bold approach and brazenly walked down the middle of the road, ringing a loud hand-bell. Passers-by simply stepped to one side (probably due to my shouts of, Unclean!.Unclean! and my lepers badge ). As I neared the end of the village, I was met by obliging Edna. She had attracted |
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4:10 pm Monday, 15th October, 2012
Mature Knight Chapter 6 You can catch up on previous Chapters, by visiting Frownton Abbey and consulting the i-prayer. I decided that my preparations to meet Sally needs be meticulous. Despite it being only 16 months since my last, I decided to take a bath. This was something of a trial in the Blacksmith's Armpit ( 12 other people had to be present ) , but eventually it was ready. Disrobing my outer garments, I handed them to a servant for washing and drying. I instructed him that when dry, I required my doublet front to be ironed over a wok ( for that made-to-measure look ) and that my tights be checked for ladders ( they make you walk stiff-legged). My ancient discoloured vest with it's Scottish emblem came next. Upon seeing it, one of the ladies present burst out in a fit of giggles, which I thought quite rude, particularly as the string vest she was wearing was definitely home-made. The strange thing about my garment is that whenever I wore the old grey thistle vest, I always wante |
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3:07 pm Wednesday, 10th October, 2012
Has Mature Knight Ended his Quest (2) So there I was in the Blacksmith's Armpit ( no it's not a fetish of mine, it's an Inn ) having just met my quest lady, Sally Forth. I was in the dark, both literally and metaphorically. Sally was standing close to my table, thereby blocking out all available light-sources and I had no idea how to progress my Quest further. ( for those of you who are a mite confused at the moment, I suggest going back a manuscript or two to catch up ) If you're still confused after that, I'll put two shovels against a wall and ask you to take your pick! For those who like back-ground to a story, I should say that the Inn is located in a small village called Chirlton-cum-Hardly, which has a reputation shire-wide as an area of poor population growth. The village had actually been decimated 12 years previously by the Black Death, which had killed off the entire educated population ( both Edna and George had been buried together ) . No-one knows the full death- toll ( |
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3:41 pm Friday, 12th October, 2012
Mature Knight seeks wisdom ( For anyone joining this party now, at the "pass-the-parcel" stage, I suggest a quick visit to the earlier courses to "bring you up to speed" ) The door to the Blacksmith's Arms was suddenly kicked open and a group of pink monks walked in ( they had been white monks, until a Welsh flag had accidentaly found it's way into the hot wash ). They were from the nearby Frownton Abbey ( named not from any local landmark, but because the Abbott has no sense of humour ). They were delivering their weekly consignment of mead to the Inn. This mead had been given the somewhat unlikely title of "Honeyed Tongue" and had been responsible for several bloodbaths, when a damsel, new to the Inn, had been asked to try a hot " Honeyed Tongue" that evening. The monks had the sole rights to the shire's entire honey production, by the simple expediant of constructing a hive, populating it with half-a-dozen pole-dancing Queen bees, then sitting back while the swarms of workers buzze |
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12:44 pm Friday, 12th October, 2012
Mature Knight Finally asks the Question Faint heart never won the hand of a fair lady ( at least according to Baron Barnard of South Africa ), so, determined to tell Sally of my Quest's end, I fell to my knees at her feet ( currently not yet subject to Health Safety Regs ). Once there I noticed that her left foot was encased in animal skins and fluff, but her right was suprisingly inside a beautiful glass crystal slipper, which showcased and magnified her corns and bunions to dramatic effect. She told me of an invite to the local castle, a coach, footmen, dancing like a sprite and I realised that wild mushrooms were obviously an integral part of Sally's diet. She said a handsome Prince had called the previous week searching for a lady who wore a glass slipper. On being presented to Sally, he had simply said he was looking for whoever wore the left one and hurriedly made an exit. I told Sally that she must be the true love of my life and that mayhap we must meet at her house later. Sh |
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10:16 am Thursday, 13th September, 2012
Has mature knight ended his quest? As my armour and the horse's shoes had been stolen ( see previous entry ), I continued my quest on foot. Bent forward, with the reins over one shoulder and saddlebag over the other, I pulled the old warhorse along. The going was really tough, but as I approachd a small village, the people came out waving to greet me. I soon realised the cries were of alarm, not greeting and looking over my shoulder, saw two distinct lines in the trackway, where the horse had planted it's feet foursquare and I had dragged it. The hooves were smoking and near worn down to the quick and several hedgerows were alight from the friction burns. Exhausted, I let go of the reins, and walked into the village. Next to the church, I found a small hostelry called " The Blacksmith's Armpit" and waked inside. I thought it clever that the name of the pub also described it's interior. I knew that the service should be good as there was a small crowd behind the bar. As my eyes accust |
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5:12 pm Thursday, 6th September, 2012
Mature knight still seeking lady for next chapter It's now four weeks into the Quest and time to take stock. ( or Bovril if you prefer ) I've met several ladies on my journey, yet a strange phenomenon appears to grip womenkind of the realm. Everywhere I see ladies avidly reading a much-printed parchment, no doubt from Mr Caxtons wonderful new printing press, entitled 50 Shades of Grey. Due to not being able to store reading glasses anywhere in the armour, I confess to not having read this piece, but assume it to concern interior design. Though why so many people would want a living room the colour of an elephant is beyond my comprehension, still no sense in beating yourself up about it. ( I've since been told that if you sign a form , a Mr Grey will do this for you ) I have to take off the armour at regular intervals, as it was made for me as a much younger man and my waist is proof that inflation doesn't just affect the economy. In fact the spare flesh has to find an outlet somewher |
| 5:28 pm Wednesday, 6th November, 2024
hello handsome, you look charming I would like to have a beautiful conversation with you I look forward to your response |
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| 5:04 pm Monday, 4th November, 2024
Hi there, i find your profile interesting and this makes me want to learn more about you |
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| 7:51 pm Tuesday, 17th September, 2024
Hi beautiful you looking good, love to chat with you |
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| 6:42 pm Wednesday, 4th September, 2024
Hello how are you ? I love the smile on your profile, it looks very cute. Can we have an honest conversation, get to know each other better and see where this goes? I hope to hear from you soon |
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| 6:41 pm Wednesday, 4th September, 2024
Hello how are you ? I love the smile on your profile, it looks very cute. Can we have an honest conversation, get to know each other better and see where this goes? I hope to hear from you soon |
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| 6:41 pm Wednesday, 4th September, 2024
Hello how are you ? I love the smile on your profile, it looks very cute. Can we have an honest conversation, get to know each other better and see where this goes? I hope to hear from you soon |
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| 12:44 am Wednesday, 30th October, 2024
You’re looking elegant |
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| 12:19 am Wednesday, 30th October, 2024
You’re looking elegant |
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| 11:45 am Sunday, 27th October, 2024
hello handsome, can we be friends |